The most I can say about my forced disappearance time is that I am grateful to God for being among the survivors!
Everyone must understand that it is not as easy as it can be explained in spoken words or written expressions. It was a battle that waged within the conscience of everyone who fought in it. Some escaped, while others perished because they couldn’t resist.
It is an unorganized war that doesn’t require the executioner to make any effort. They only need to throw you into those desolate abysses, and from there, the first spark of the fierce war will ignite within you.
At that point, the role of the monstrous executioner ends, and despite all the despicable methods they invent to torture you, they will appear naive and insignificant in your eyes, unable to stir any horror within you.
There is something much more brutal and crueller that distracts you from them, and that is your internal war, between a troubled heart and a raging mind. It’s a war of escalating thoughts in a suffocating cell, inhabited by deadly silence and savage stillness. You see your comrades and companions falling victims to their delusions without uttering any sounds except for mournful sighs. You see one of them becoming prey to an obsession, reminding him of his family and loved ones, and then showing him a film titled “No Return,” making his sanity pay the price of that ticket.
And another one is consumed by the obsession of the night, until he sees the specter of despair devouring his dreams, one after another, until they run out. And with them, all the reasons to live, and his spirit declares its departure!
And there are those whose insides burned with pain and oppression, to the point where dark circles appeared under their eyes. And there are many suffering others.
As for me, I have lost two-thirds of my strength and determination, and I fear nothing more than losing the remaining third because of what I suffer from those who call themselves allies and claim to have been my partners in that war!
I said at the beginning that it is a war, and whoever fights it will lose a lot, whether they come out of it as losers or victors.
“Ibrahim Al-Khazraji”